Worst Road Trip Ever!
by LucarioKid
Summary: When two of your mascots decide to take you on a road trip through different worlds, all to get you out of the house and to get a girl friend, you know something's wrong. Well, something is very wrong in my situation! Cain and Owain, my mascots, have decided we need to take a road trip. Why? I don't know. I'd rather be at home learning magic, not... That is a scantily clad women.
1. How it Starts

**So this idea was... well it's stupid, so it should be funny. For those of you following my stuff, you may have realized by now, that I have two mascots. One, is an OC of mine named Cain. He's a Vampire who has no need for following the rules of the fourth wall. He's a little shit.**

 **Cain: *Gasp* Profanity!**

 **LucarioKid: See? My other is not an OC but someone who I absolutely love as a person. Owain, from Fire Emblem Awakening. Say hi, Owain!**

 **Owain: My Sword Hand hungers for the death of the Fell Demons of thine darkest wishes upon Desolation!**

 **LucarioKid: Hehe. Awesome! Now then, not sure if my cover art picture thing for this story shows it, but it shows me and Cain sitting on a couch and me asking, "You wanna do what?" And Cain says-**

 **Cain: "Go on a road trip!"**

 **LucarioKid: There we go. Now then, as you read in the summary, we do go on this stupid trip. The main idea is that for this first part-**

 **Owain: (There are multiple parts!? Shit!)**

 **LucarioKid: -We will mostly be going to video game worlds, that aren't high tech and stuff. The first place we go is the world of Tales of Vesperia.**

 **Owain: (I don't know if I can do this. Kid is fine... It's Cain I'm worried about.)**

 **Cain: (Why is that?)**

 **Owain: AGGHHH! Get out of my thoughts!**

 **Cain: Merp.**

 **LucarioKid: Cain, cut that shit out! We've already talked about this.**

 **Cain: You said not to do it to you.**

 **LucarioKid: I said no mind reading in general. We need to start the story now. So get in your spot or something. Owain, you too.**

 **Cain: But I'm hungry.**

 **LucarioKid: I told you to eat an hour ago! You knew this was coming!**

 **Cain: But I wasn't hungry an hour ago.**

 **Owain: Sweet Naga, help me.**

 **Cain: (Naga can't help you now, my child)**

 **LucarioKid: Action!**

They say being a writer is stupid, especially if you write on this site. Me personally? I like it. The people are pretty funny and nice. No real limitation, which some people make very sexual use of. Why are they called lemons though? Fucking hell. I'm getting off track. The best way to describe this site, is fun. The thing is, I have a special book that I was tasked to look after, which sounds kinda boring and all, except it's one of those stupidly overpowered books that whatever you write in it happens. Ya, cliché, huh?

I'm guessing you might not have thought that I didn't know that, and wrote some of my stories in it, and that caused the creation of Cain. My OC Vampire thing. He's... an interesting person. I'm sure some of you have already met him. White hair that's kinda short on the sides but longer in the middle. He cut it recently so it's more like a Mohawk now. White hair, pale skin. Dresses like a cowboy when he's out and killing stuff. Likes to wear my bath robes when he's at my house, eating everything he can get his hands on. I thought he was supposed to drink blood, but that only makes him powerful.

Personally, I think he's full of shit, but I can't prove it. He certainly doesn't pay any mind to physics or other basic things of life. Such as standing on roofs, walking through the center of the Earth so he could visit Owain in Japan without having to pay for plane tickets. That kind of crap.

But fun. Then there's Owain. I did not make him. He just got brought to life, in an experiment. I wanted to test if the book was really magical, so I wrote, "Owain is real." Nothing happened at first, until I heard someone screaming like a maniac and shouting about his Sword Hand. He was in my backyard, floundering in the pool like a dip wad. Explained everything to him, and he started to work out things himself, like we all have. Just in our own ways each.

I try to test the limits of my magical prowess, since discovering my family used to have magical connections to the world of Dusk, the place where all magic comes from. Without something to manifest my powers into, I can only make small, hardly menacing spells. Which is where the book comes in handy. The book is practically glowing in magical energy. So Owain gave me the idea to use it like a tome from Fire Emblem. Imagine my surprise when it not only worked, but I accidently blew a hole in the wall. Not my bedroom wall, the walls of time and space, straight into nothingness.

Which is how we found Nid Lein. Is basically means "Nothing World" since there is literally nothing there, at least when we first arrived. Just blackness everywhere. Like space with no stars, or anything. It was kinda creepy at first, but we discovered more about it, finding it was a calm place where no one could find or disturb us. So we spruced it up a bit, adding a grey couch that just floats there for us to sit on. A T.V., some other nice things as well. Cain added a stripper pole, but I am not inviting strippers in Nid Lein.

Most of the time that's where I go to write, since my family is about as loud as a bull in a china shop. Ya, pretty bad, eh? To be fair, Cain can be just as bad. We still don't know much of anything about Nid Lein other than we think it is accessible from any world in the universe. The funny thing is, those worlds from the video games and shows and stuff? They're real as you and me. We just don't really know how to get there very well.

We tried once, and nearly blew up my house doing it. But I was inexperienced at the time, so that was bound to happen. Trying to warp three people into a different world forcefully through space and time. Hehe... Father Time didn't like me very much. He's not as old as people think, and thoroughly kicked the shit out of Cain. The Vampire is immortal, I'm not. I only got a firm back hand. Which still hurt like a bitch. I don't think him or Mother Space know about us creating(?) Nid Lein, which is probably a good thing. I like that place.

We all stay relatively close, but Owain recently flew to Japan, saying he wanted to study more in the art of the sword, and since he fights with his kitana Missiletainn, it does make sense for him to go there. But apparently, he's studying European Knight techniques as well. Probably helps that his father is a knight. And a badass, scary one at that.

Cain just goes around, dealing with Vampire problems, since those exist as well. See, magic lets you figure out all this cool stuff you never really thought existed. Dragons, fairies, demons, prison rape, ya, it all exists. But you don't need magic to see that last one. Since that's a dark type of magic. Remember kids, don't drop the soap. You're never safe, even in your own house. Cain learned the hard way when a goblin got in the house. That was an awkward mission to slay that thing. Especially when it jumped on Owain's face and... you know what? Never mind.

Me? I go to High School. 17 years of age and I know more than most people on planet Earth ever will. But I can't go around proclaiming about Dragons and shit, since the insane asylum is not something I like. Besides, fighting Demons is surprisingly fun. I mostly watch, since I have near zero combat experience, but my magic is strong.

Just need the book to be at my peak. We've found a couple other books of magical power, but none of them are nearly as conductive as the one I have. It's probably easier to call it a tome, since it's pretty big compared to those stupid baby books people at my school read. Here's the thing. I can read it just fine, but no one else, Cain, Owain, nobody, can read it. It's weird. The book mostly tells me about the secrets of things I never knew about. The thing is, the book looks like it's got a good 800-1,000 pages in it, but the pages just keep going. I have been reading it for months, and I'm a fast reader, and I haven't even made enough to notice if I've read it.

If the book is what I'm thinking it is, it's the ultimate book that has information on everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! That's how we found out about other worlds, was through it. Weird stuff, eh? But it's kinda cool, like a mystery story. Alright, I'm a sap. Now then, this is where I stop droning on about basic information. This is how everything started. By the way, name's Travis, and enjoy the tale of stupidity, that was caused by Cain, and that one stupid question he asked me.

* * *

Travis was floating through Nid Lein calmly, his right hand on his chin, slightly rubbing it while his left was crossed over his chest. He floated here, there, just about everywhere without noticing or caring. He then flicked his right hand out to the side, snapping his finger. A large dark blue book without any words, markings or anything, other than the little worn parts on the edges floated to his hand. He flipped it open to what looked like the first page, but was in fact about the 900 page.

He started to read, holding it calmly in his left hand like it weighed nothing, while his right finger kept his place among the small words. To him it was infinite knowledge, but to others it was weird markings and symbols. He read for a few minutes before the realm tore open, and a white haired man with deep blood red eyes jumped through.

"Watch out Cain Romance!" He saw the floating Travis, seeing his singing went unnoticed. He cleared his throat. Still nothing. He searched his persons, finding the apple. He rubbed it against his chest. He then threw it at Travis, the apple stopping in the middle of the air when the young mage stuck his hand out and used his powers to stop it.

"I thought I told you not to eat?" Cain tackled the apple, gnawing it greedily.

"When?" He asked while... Caining the apple. Travis raised an eyebrow at the scene, but shook his head and turned back to the book.

"During the Author's Note. Remember when the words were bolded and not normal like this?" Cain slammed his head through a dimensional wall where a person on a computer was reading FanFiction. Cain looked at the screen, seeing the normal words and nodding.

"Got it." He then looked at the surprised person, then the house.

"Like what you've done with the place." He was then pulled back inside Nid Lein. The person staring at the screen in confusion.

"Too much crack." Travis slapped the back of Cain's head, sighing and closing the book.

"What did I say about breaking the important walls?"

"Tuh not to." Travis slowly shook his head.

"Yeeees. So stop. We have to clean up the place. Owain's finally getting back from his walk about." Cain chuckled, floating away and making UFO noises.

"Help! I'm being abducted." Travis started to pick up the floating trash, looking up at the floating Vampire.

"I wouldn't be that lucky." Cain fell down, gravity suddenly deciding to work and allowing his to land on Travis.

"Dammit, Cain! Not now with your shit!" He shrugged, applying more weight to Travis.

"Fucking shit! I'm small, that's why I use magic! You're gonna... kill me!" Cain smirked at him, sticking his tongue out.

"I wouldn't be that lucky." Travis's right eye twitched before a white light exploded from his, Cain sent flying into the air, before perfectly landing on the couch, a beer magically landing in his hands. His outfit had changed from his normal cowboy attire to grey jeans with black straps on the side, a black shirt with a grey over jacket on. Travis stood, shaking his head before seeing Nid Lein was clean.

"That was faster than expected." He flopped next to Cain, tired suddenly. Cain leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, a huge smirk on his face.

"You look tired. You need a break from the stress of everything." Travis nodded, lightly tugging at the cross necklace around his neck.

"I wish I could. But I can't." Cain gave a confused look.

"What do you mean? School's out! You have a whole summer to do stupid shit!" Travis shook his head, closing his eyes.

"I'm not that kind of person Cain. The most I do is playing video games and hanging with my friends. Studying magic, that'll be a new thing and running to keep in shape. I still have to figure out what to do about the glasses situation." Travis normally needed glasses, but had somehow healed his eyesight with magic, meaning he didn't need them anymore. He still wore them, just without the lenses, since it would be weird if he suddenly didn't need them. He scatched his dark brown hair and slouched against the couch, looking like he was going to fall asleep.

"Then take a vacation!" Travis shook his head.

"What kind of vacation could I do?" Cain thought about it, before a huge grin appeared on his face, looking in Travis' direction.

"We should go on a road trip with Owain!" Travis opened one eye and looked at him, a bead of sweat rolling down his face.

"You wanna do what?" Cain only seemed to smile wider.

"Go on a road trip!" Travis moved away from the Vampire slightly.

"Hell no. You're crazy and would get all of us killed in a day." Cain frowned slightly.

"Why don't we ask Owain then?" Travis rubbed his chin in though.

"I tell you what. Owain says we go on this trip and I will go with you. But where would we go? Drive to New York or something?" Cain shook his head, placing his beer bottle on an invisible table.

"No, no, no! See, what we gotta do is get away from the technology of life. I say we go somewhere without that." Travis gave an annoyed look.

"Mount Everest?" Cain started to laugh loudly.

"No, stupid! They have some technology up there. We need to go to some other world where they don't have technology that's very good. Ya see?" Travis started to hate the idea even more.

"No, Cain. Remember last time I opened a portal?" Cain shrugged.

"You said it yourself early in the story, you are inexperienced." Travis looked up, scrolling up.

"Shit, I did. I still stand by what I said. If Owain says yes, then I'll go. But where would we go? I don't really want to go somewhere where we'll have to fight all the time." Cain started to think, then looked to Travis.

"Give me the book." Travis was reluctant, but handed it over. Cain started to look through the book, eventually seeing a symbol of a place that looked like Earth, but was less advanced and peaceful.

"What's this place?" Travis took the book, looking at the symbol before looking at Cain.

"Terca Lumireis. Some place where they have technology but it's from ancient devices called Blastia that help people against monster. Cain, monsters. No. This place sounds like it's already bad." Cain took the book, throwing it behind him while Travis almost jumped off the couch. He would have it Cain hadn't grabbed his collar.

"We'll find monsters no matter where we go. So, we might as well find a place that has some defenses against the monsters, eh? This place sounds cool! That's where we'll go!" Travis chuckled to himself.

"I thought for sure you were going to pick Skyrim." Cain shook his head.

"Too cliché. Hey, what's this Terca place from?" He picked up his beer again, taking a swig and reclining back on the couch. Travis looked back behind him by leaning back against the couch. He clapped his hands together, the book flying back into his hands. He flipped open to a random page, running his hands over it and murmuring in another language.

The pages started to flip quickly, landing on a page with more symbols that Cain couldn't read. Travis started to read it before closing the book and lightly throwing it up, the book hovering above them a foot.

"Tale of Vesperia. Sounds like an interesting game. Couple of main characters and it a JRPG or something like that. Main character is this dude named Yuri. I recommend we don't go there and cause problems." Cain ruffled Travis' hair, causing the mage to burn the Vampire, though it didn't so much.

"We won't! Just a nice little visit! Nothing bad at all!" Travis shook his head, crossing his arms.

"That's what you always say." He mumbled it just loud enough for Cain to hear. The Vampire shooting up and raising his fists in a comical fashion.

"Oh ya! Wanna square up, Scrub!" Travis leaned back into the couch.

"No, I don't wanna hurt you-drink bleach!" He tackled Cain, the fighters rolling through nothingness, until Cain used his Vampiric powers to hang Travis upside down.

"No fair! I can't use powers without my tome!" Cain smirked grabbing the book and holding it in both hands.

"This book?" Travis shook his head.

"I swear to God, Cain. If you hit me with my tome, when I get out of here I'm going to wreck your shit in so hard you won't be walking straight for a week!" Cain rubbed his chin in thought.

"Like when me and Kita had a fuck-a-thon?" Travis nodded slowly, but a dark glare in his eyes.

"Only there will be no pleasure. Only pain and death." Cain looked at his crotch, then back to Travis.

"You have Aids?" Travis blew out of the bindings, jumping on Cain and slamming him down. He grabbed the book, standing and using his magic to pick up Cain. He started to laugh darkly, right about the time Owain entered. He was about to call out hello, but stopped at seeing Cain held in the air by light magic, Travis laughing madly.

"Prepare your anus!" Now Owain was scared. Travis laughed a little more, turning to see pale Owain. He slammed the book closed, Cain flopping to the floor, holding his crotch where the magic had been squeezing his little friends. Travis chuckled uneasily.

"You're back!" Owain shook his head, sitting carefully on the couch, probably wondering if something was going to shoot out of the couch and into his rear end.

"Unfortunately." Cain, ever the idiot, got up like he hadn't even been hurt.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Owain just glared at the Vampire.

"Nothing Cain."

"Alright. Oh! Owain! We have a question!" Owain sighed, turning to face Cain again, surprised when he saw Cain had gotten a few inches from his face.

"Umm... what?"

"Do you think vacations are a good thing?" He thought about it, then nodded.

"Yes. They help people calm down and get a better grip on things. Why?" Cain stood happily, assuming his cool guy, anime victory pose. Basically, left hand tucked to his side, and his right hand giving a thumbs up, a huge smirk and a wink.

"Because we all should go on a road trip!" Owain didn't even need to think.

"No, God, please, no!" Cain deflated.

"Why!?" Owain gave a scared face.

"I put up with your shit enough as it is! I don't want to be stuck adventuring with you, too!" Cain tried to think of a good argument, then picked up Travis in front of him.

"But this poor boy has been worked to the bone and needs to rest and get a better grip on things." Owain smiled warmly.

"Then you take him." Now the smile was gone. Cain gave a sassy face.

"Excuse me! I played a part in raising our son, too! Just because you birthed him doesn't mean you don't have to do anything else! If you don't do this for him, I want a divorce!" Everybody froze on place. Travis tried to break free of Cain's grip.

"Really bro?"

"That's father, son. _Who's your daddy?"_ Travis kicked back, hitting the weak spot in between Cain's legs. Cain seemed to only feel it for a half a second, before recovering and smiling.

"Besides, Owain. We still have to get him a girlfriend!" Travis groaned. Cain knew how much crap Travis got from his own family on the subject, so he may as well use that as an excuse to bring Owain along, and piss Travis off. Owain thought about it, then rubbed his chin in thought. His older brother symptoms kicking in. But what really sold it was the feeling and vibrating in his right hand. His Sword Hand was telling him he needed to do this. For Travis' sake. So he and Cain could somehow get that boy laid. Hard!

"My Sword Hand tells me... Buy the condoms!" Travis shouted in pure agony, while Cain jumped for joy.

"Fuck to the hell yes! This is going to be great, Owain! Just you see! We've already got a place picked out too! Terca Luma something or another!"

"Terca Lumireis." Cain slowly looked at him, a blank expression written on his face.

"We need to get you fucked and loosened up. Badly. Wonder if there are any kinky elf people who wear near to nothing in Terca? Ones who ride dragons, too! Ooh! This is great! Grab your bags boys!" Travis had curled up on the ground in the fetal position, but was slowly floating away.

"Why me, God? Why me?" Was all he said to himself, over and over again. Now he was royally screwed.

 **So this is the setup, which is awesome! Cecilio! Was it epic! Text me the answer! Or leave a review. Whatever works. Anywho, hope you guys liked this. Since this is going to be a genre nobody looks for please refer this to people who will like it. Not trying to milk people, I just want people to read it for a couple reasons. To laugh, to cry, from laughing. To be inspired, from laughing.**

 **Cain: To get a divorce!**

 **Owain: From laughing?**

 **Travis/LucarioKid: Hehe. That actually made me laugh while I wrote it. And I'm allowed to make divorce jokes because I've been through one, not personally, but the one where your parents buy two different houses and glare at each other when they drop you off and separate again. That one! Yaaaa! It's actually about that.**

 **Cain: It makes stalking him way harder.**

 **Travis: You know the schedule for which house I'm at, ya dunce! Wait a minute. You weren't paying attention when I told you, huh?**

 **Cain: ... What was that? I wasn't paying attention.**

 **Travis: Oiy. Also, why did you cut your hair into that Mohawk thing?**

 **Cain: It looks pimp. Plus, it makes Kita get hella turned on when I play the bad boy. Speaking of which, it's after five, so I have to go and have a No-Pants-Dance-A-Thon with Kita until three in the morning. Then we leave for the trip!**

 **Travis: Someone kill me. They're probably going to do it on my bed at one in the morning when they get bored of doing it on their bed, the kitchen, the laundry room, the pool, the roof, the fridge, the walls, the ceiling, the fan, the fan while it's on, the safe, the T.V., in the T.V., the internet, and then my bed, then on me, then trying to get me to join, then kicking me out, and rocking my bed enough to where the springs break, then my laptop, then my tome. But I'm going to hide it this time. I may be grumpy tomorrow, ok, Owain?**

 **Owain: What have you had to suffer through while I was gone?**

 **Travis: Too much.**


	2. Terca Lumireis

**The journey shall officially start now! The adventure of a life time will start! One filled with joy! Sadness! Self Discovery! Love! Bullshit! Who wrote this shit!? Wait... Fuck! Dammit Cain! Give me the book back!**

 **Cain: Nooooooooooooo!**

 **Travis: Yes!**

 **Cain: No!**

 **Travis: Yes!**

 **Owain: *Takes book and points sword* Cut this shit out! Cain! Let Travis write his thing before I drop the ultimate power of my Sword Hand on you!**

 **Cain: ... Wah!**

 **Travis: I will get the pepper spray!**

 **Cain: Merp! Anyways! On with the adventure! Hopefully pepper spray free?**

 **Owain: I have a hidden bottle just for you in case you do any dumb shit.**

 **Travis: Good call, Scion.**

 **Owain: The Scion of legends is always prepare to face the trials of the day! Especially when they have to do with Cain.**

 **Cain: Bullies!**

 **Travis: We're not even being mean yet, dude. Now then! On with the start of something... Cain-like. Also, why is my hair gray!?**

 **Cain: Technically it's silver. Because if we're going to explore and get you a girl friend, you need to look badass.**

 **Travis: I thought the point was to find a girl who liked me for me?**

 **Owain: I thought we were just trying to get you laid? That's what Cain's version of a girl friend seems to be.**

 **Cain: Not entirely, though sex is nice.**

 **Owain: Especially without taking proper precautions, considering she's pregnant.**

 **Cain: ... Shut up.**

 **Travis: Can we start now? I want this to be over as soon as possible. Before that though, everyone of us has a theme song. Well, I don't yet. Apparently you find your theme song when you need it most, according to these two idiots. Anyways, Cain's theme song is called Pirate Hooker by Zomboy. Owain's is called Id (Hope) from his game Fire Emblem Awakening. When they are going to do something cool I'll put a cue up for it. Now we can start.**

After writing the Author's Note, Cain and Owain decided to take Travis to get some gear for the journey, since everything that could possibly go wrong would probably go wrong. In a very short amount of time. So they journeyed to a magical place to look for supplies. The Black Market. Why Cain decided this would be a good place for a kid? No clue, but to be fair, he had a badass samurai with him and a Vampire who couldn't die and would only come back to annoy people. So it was safe to say Travis was in moderately good hands.

They walked around the warehouse, looking over the things on the tables. Guns were out of the option, since the only one who never seemed to run out of ammo was Cain. But Travis was still mildly confused. So he tapped Cain on the shoulder, getting the Vampire's attention.

"So let me get this right. We're here to get me a weapons, from a group of people who are highly illegal, and mostly sell guns, so get me a sword?" Cain nodded quickly.

"Pretty much." Travis thought about it before nodding.

"Fuck it. Owain, since you know a good sword, show me your ways, oh Master Scion." Owain let it go straight to his head, looking at the booth that had swords daggers and any type of sharp weapons imaginable. He lifted one of the sword, looking closely at the blade.

"Poorly made, would shatter too easily for our needs." He grabbed a large sword that was almost as tall as Travis. The mage in training slowly lowered it back to the table.

"Owain, how about a smaller sword since that thing could swing me." Owain tensed, shaking before shouting his anger loudly, causing everyone to look at him, some reaching for guns. Travis laughed on the inside. Like those would help against a bat shit insane Cowboy Vampire, and a swordsman who can slice bullets out of the air. He gave Owain a confused pat on the back.

"Focus, dude." He nodded, looking back at the blades. Then his right hand started to twitch. As stupid as it seemed to most people, Owain's Sword Hand actually had very good intuition. He held it up, his hand continuing with it's twitching.

"Sword Hand, show me the way." He hovered his hand over the blades, moving over them slowly, his eyes closed. He got half way through when he stopped, dropping onto a normal one handed sword with a dark grey blade that had fire like markings along the middle of the blade. The handle had black leather wrapped around it and a small black orb on the hilt.

Owain picked it up, his eyes wide with wonder. He ran his fingers over the handle slowly, looking along every part of it. He gave a mock swing and stab at the air. He then held it in both hands before handing it to Travis.

"Try it out." Travis grabbed it, surprised by the lack of weight, which he wasn't going to argue. He swung it, not losing control like he had with Owain's sword before. He nodded, looking at the sheathe which was black leather, leather strips hanging off the sides that dangled down.

"I like it. How much?" The shop keeper looked to Cain, smiling.

"For him and you guys? Free. Cain, make sure you come by for another drink, eh?" Cain nodded, doing an elaborate secret hand shake with the guy. The actions ranged from simple high fives to even head butting each other. It certainly reminded Travis of Grown Ups 2 with the college kids. When they were done Cain gave a thumbs up.

"Count on it. I'll drink your ass under the table any day." The man smirked.

"We'll see." Cain gave the motion that he was watching him and the man laughed. Travis tried to strap the sheathe to his waist, but found it annoying so he moved it to his back, the handle by his right shoulder.

"Ok, now what?" Owain took a stance with his legs bent, and his right hand by his face.

"Now, noble mage in training, we must find you armor that will suit your fighting style. Fast and powerful, yes?" Travis shrugged.

"How the fuck should I know, Owain? I usually just flick my hands and things implode. Hell if I know about sword fighting." Owain deflated, sobbing silently, causing Travis to face palm and Cain to start seeing if he could make himself implode by holding his breath. Then Owain shot up, shouting once more.

"I will find the perfect armor for you! Beware not, for the shadows that stand against us shall face my wrath! As it cloaks you in the safety of its power, eviscerating everything in it's power!" Travis started to use his tome to translate. Apparently, Owain was it's own language.

"A coat?"

"Yup!" Cain fell over, having ran out of air and losing consciousness. Travis pointed at him, looking at Owain in confusion.

"What should we do about him?" Cain seemed to teleport to his feet.

"I saw Jesus." Travis nodded.

"What'd he say?"

"Get the fuck out of my house." Travis nodded.

"Seems legit." Now Owain nodded.

"Such powers from one such as you would cause such things." Travis' right eye twitched.

"Can we just get me armor and finish this fucking road trip?" Owain took his pose with his right hand, tensing and shaking.

"Yes! Sword Hand! Show me the path to glorious victory! RRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!" He sprinted forward, leaving a trail of dust behind him as he went. Cain whooped, slipping on a banana and hitting the floor, somehow imploding on himself. Travis looked at the banana and then backed away. He walked around it carefully, not wanting to suffer the same fate. He took two steps away when Cain walked through nothing and burped.

"Mmm... Demon intestines." Travis gave a slightly annoyed glare.

"Ya done? We need to find the Scion before he blows up the warehouse." Cain rubbed his chin, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a small party popper. He shot it above Travis, the confetti landing on his head.

"Hooray! We're going on a trip!" Travis smirked.

"In our favorite rocket ship!" They went back to back, holding fake mics.

"Shooting through the sky!"

"Little Cain-Steins!" A booth owner shouted at them.

"Hey! Shut the fuck up!" They both looked at each other before smirking.

"Dog pile!" Granted, they did not expect everyone else to join in, but with weapons like knives and guns. But nobody noticed the kid and Vampire as they snuck away. They got outside the warehouse, realizing something important was left inside.

"Owain!" Then the blonde swordsman raced outside, multiple things in his hands.

"I found them! And since everyone was fighting for some reason, I just grabbed them and ran!" Travis smirked, realizing they all probably had a bounty the size of Texas on their heads, but it was totally worth it.

"Sweet. To be honest, I thought the place was going to explode and sink underground." Owain waved his arm dismissively.

"We're not that destructive." Then the warehouse exploded, launching the group towards Travis' car, when Owain slowly slid along the ground, Cain used the force and stopped himself on nothing, while Travis made a portal that shot him up from the ground and allowed him to land on his feet. They looked to see the warehouse in shambles.

"I mean at least-" Then it sunk under the ground, the Earth seeming to swallow it.

"Keeping mouth shut, got it. Can we go?" They all nodded, getting into the car, Travis driving while Owain took front and Cain the back. This was their system since Cain liked the back, for some reason they all couldn't understand. When they got back to Travis' house they all made their way to his room, a simple small room he shared with his younger brother.

It was only them, thankfully, but Travis opened a portal to Nid Lein, the group jumping through. Travis flopped on the couch, the other two joining him on the massive couch. Owain threw Travis the things in his hand, the mage looking them over. Owain was excited.

"Put them on!" Travis groaned, standing and putting the new clothes on. The outfit consisted of a grey undershirt, his cross necklace still there. He had a small cloth around his neck that he could pull up or use almost like a scarf. He had a very large and bulky coat/cloak on, silver markings and buckles along the arms and shoulders. It had two large pockets on the front, and a large black strap on the left side for storing his tome.

His pants were only slightly lighter than the coat, a silver chain on the right side next to his front pocket. By the bottom of the legs were the silver markings again, that ran up and slowly vanished before meeting his waist. The markings reminded Travis of the paintings of tribal fire. His boots were black combat boots with large laces and metal in the toes for kicking. Travis felt something in the sleeves of the bulky jacket, wondering of he should tailor it. He reached in, pulling out more fabric that he realized went over his hands.

The fabric was still connected to the sleeves, but on the inside and the small silver ring at the end went over his index finger and gave him an almost glove of sorts that covered his hands, but allowed for use of his fingers. He realized the coat rand down the middle of his knees in the back, making him joke that he could like in the thing. It also sported a zipper that he had all the way up, the undershirt barely visible.

"How do I look?" Owain stood, looing him over and sometimes tugging on the coat.

"Hmm... It's very big on you, including the baggy pants. But you look epic! Don't change anything, for this is the gear necessary for us to vanquish the darkness of loneliness!" Cain nodded, then snapping, his new cowboy getup appearing on him. Travis was confused.

"What's with the new gear? What happened to your Hellsing stuff?" Cain shrugged.

"It's nice, but I don't want to telegraph I'm Hellsing and have to explain it. This is easier." Travis saw some of the logic, but stopped caring. Cain still had his black and red cowboy hat, the crow feather resting on the right side. He wore a large grey duster that had a crossing bandolier on it. His sawed off shotgun on his back and his rifle as well. At his waist were his two revolvers, and his black pants snug, the bottoms wider for some reason. His brown cowboy boots looked polished, and in top condition.

He looked like a normal cowboy. Travis looked to Owain, seeing the Scion placing on his new armor he had been excited about. It was a white jacket with fur at the end of the sleeves, the fur even being white. The jacket went down low, but split off into six different slits until they almost reached the ground. On his back was a silver insignia that looked like Naga's Tear. He wore silver fingerless gloves, as well as a white scarf around his neck, the ends resting halfway down his back, flowing in the 'wind' of Nid Lein.

His pants were grey and looked almost like the kind a samurai would wear, but his boots were leather ones with smaller laces. On his left waist was his sword's sheathe, Missiletainn waiting inside. The black kitana had slayed many a demon and almost scared Travis with its sleek design. Travis nodded, actually finding the outfit to be very badass.

"Nice! I think we look like a sexy group of killers." Cain took out his revolvers and started to twirl them.

"I mean, were you expecting any less?" Travis shook his head, grabbing his backpack and making sure everything was in it before facing them, seeing them have their own packs as well.

"You both good?" They nodded, Travis taking his phone out of his pocket.

"Adios, partner." He threw it on the couch, walking a few feet away before taking his tome off his coat.

"Ok, here goes." He let the book hover in front of him opened on the page of their destination. He placed his hands on the pages, closing his eyes and began chanting. He swiped his hands to the side and magical energy sparked to life in front of them, a portal opening.

"Holy shit! I did it!" They went to step through when a large hag like women shoved her head through and began to scream.

"What the fuck!" They all panicked and Travis closed the portal, her head being severed. They all screamed like little girls as it rolled across the floor. Travis even jumped into Cain's arms, while Owain flicked his hands in fear.

"OH MY GOD!"

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!"

"I HAVE THE WEIRDEST BONDER RIGHT NOW!" They all looked to Cain, the Vampire not looking at them.

"What in the actual Hell?" Cain dropped Travis, the mage landing on his chest, raising his head to see the hag right in front of him, her eye twitching.

"Shit!" He rolled away. standing and punting the head away. It rolled into the darkness of Nid Lein and Travis sighed.

"Why do I feel like it'll come back?" Owain shrugged.

"Because it will." Cain nodded, looking down to his pants, hoping to hide the bulge.

"Ya... whatever. Can we go?" Travis started the spell again, this time putting his hood on, hoping not to have any bright lights from the portal in his eyes.

This time it opened, the portal showing a large field. Travis and the others stepped through, admiring where they were.

"It's so peaceful." Owain nodded, but had his hand on his sword.

"Something doesn't feel right." They all turned, to see something that made them feel true terror.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Wanna be friends?" They all screamed, running while Travis started to open another portal. Then they landed right in the middle of this town, dozens of the talking monsters around them. They screamed again, and everyone around them did the same. Owain stood, drawing his sword.

"Stand back demons! Lest I take this sword and cleave you into tiny demon pieces!" Cain looked at them before holding his revolver in his hands, wondering if it would work.

"What's that?" He turned to see the pink one from earlier. He pointed it at the horse/pony/demon/shitbag and fired. For some reason, watching the head of a pink pony explode with brain matter is pretty fulfilling. Travis was trying not to burst out laughing while Owain noticed all the demons around them started to have their eyes become black abysses.

"Shit." Travis and Cain turned, seeing them with bloodthirsty looks in their eyes. Then they turned, seeing the headless Pinkie Pie get up, and walk towards them. Owain drew Missiletainn, getting into a ready stance while Cain drew his second revolver. Travis opened his book, starting the spell.

"I'll get us out of here. These are level ten class demons. We won't stand a chance." Cain scoffed, shooting one only to watch it get up and look more pissed.

"Ya, let's spell now." Owain pointed his sword at them, then spun it and caused energy to soar through the air.

"Hold beasts!" Travis almost had the spell, hoping Owain's antics would hold them. They seemed slightly entranced by his rambling about how he would wreck their shit in. Travis opened the portal, but it was shaky.

"Guys!" They all ran, the horde of demons coming after them as they jumped through, Travis closing it. Then everything went black for them all.

* * *

When Owain woke he saw Cain next to him on the ground. He crawled over, shaking him up.

"Kita, I just fucked, give me five minutes." Owain backed away a little, before punching the Vampire. Cain woke up, rubbing his dick.

"Why would you do that!?"

"You told me Kita punches you during sex sometimes and you thought I was Kita, so I thought I would do something she doesn't!" Cain looked down, groaning before sitting up.

"Hey, where's that one guy we're trying to get laid?" Owain shrugged.

"My Sword Hand tells me he's here somewhere, in this land." Cain stood, still massaging his little friends.

"But where the floppy fishing hell is here?" Then he saw something that looked familiar.

"Oh. Success, on the third try." Owain stood next to him and looked out.

"Is this-"

"Terca Lumireis. Which means we're in the right place. But, where's Travis?"

* * *

"Come on, Repede, what do you smell?" Karol followed the blue dog as he sniffed along, his pipe held to the side of his mouth. Then they saw the black coat of someone. Karol ran over, flipping the person on their back. He saw someone slightly older than him, silver hair and a mostly clean face.

"Who is this?" Repede watched from a distance, the person groaning. Karol shook him slightly, waking the person up.

"... Cain, go fuck yourself, or Kita and let me sleep!" Karol almost dropped the person from the volume of the threat. The eyes opened to show silver eyes that looked around in slightly confusion before settling on Karol.

"Goddammit, it worked!"

 **They've been split! Oh no! What will happen now!? Ask Cain, since he seems to know everything.**

 **Cain: Travis gets laid.**

 **Travis: I do?**

 **Cain: In a sense.**

 **Owain: I sense some bullshittery.**

 **Travis: Oh no, he's being dead honest, but I don't think it's the kind of laid you two are aiming for.**

 **Cain: Yup! Wait, how are we talking when we're separated?**

 **Travis: Bullshittery.**

 **Owain: Yay!**

 **Cain: ... Awesome! Can we talk whenever?**

 **Travis: No, only during the Author's Notes.**

 **Cain: Guess there's going to be another wall broken.**

 **Owain: Naga help us.**

 **Travis: Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed that immensely. So do us all a favor.**

 **Cain: Take a shower...**

 **Owain: Listen to your sword hand, and go outside more...**

 **Travis: Keep calm, and may the Aura be with you! ... Holy shit that was cool.**

 **Cain: And fuck money and get bitches.**

 **Owain *Grumbles* You said it backwards.**

 **Travis: Nevermind...**


	3. Now What?

**So before we start and lose connection with each other, Cain... Don't get a bounty or anything while we're here, ok?**

 **Cain: Who do you think I am?**

 **Travis: Really, bro? Owain!**

 **Owain: Yes, noble mage!**

 **Travis: Watch after Cain please?**

 **Owain: I'll try. We both know how he never actually listens to anything I say, and then somehow teleports somewhere and breaks something.**

 **Cain: Whaaaaa!? *Teleports away***

 **Owain: Like that.**

 **Cain: *Comes back with a donut* Yummy!**

 **Travis: Where did you get that?**

 **Cain: ... Nowhere...**

 **Travis: Give it.**

 **Cain: No! I didn't even kill anyone this time! I deserve this!**

 **Owain: You kill people to get donuts!?**

 **Cain: Five bucks is a rip off.**

 **Travis: And this is why we cannot have nice things.**

Karol helped Travis stand, the mage slightly wobbling on his feet. He looked around, seeing they were in a forest.

"Awesome. Ok then, person. Where am I?" Karol stuttered in confusion before speaking.

"Near Danghrest, the Guild Capitol." Travis nodded, pulling his tome off his coat and flipping through it quickly. The pages let out a glow, Karol slightly concerned.

"W-what are you doing?" Travis looked to Karol, throwing the book up where it floated, the young guild leader surprised.

"Finding information on Danghrest. I need to find a pair of idiots. Can you help me? I should be able to pay you in something, since Guilds require payment. Do they not?" Karol was thoroughly confused, but couldn't argue that his guild needed money. He had just been heading to the guild city to meet his other members.

"S-sure. Some on. We need to look out for monsters though." Travis smirked, grabbing his book as it gently floated to his hands. The book started to glow vibrantly.

"Trust me, monsters are the least of our worries... If my spells don't kill us first. But they shouldn't." Karol paled at this, but held his head up. The blue dog glared at Travis, the mage returning it.

"I prefer cats." Repede growled, only to see Travis coat his right arm in magic while the book in his left start to flip through pages quickly.

"Stupid dog, stupid Cain, stupid adventure. Just wall break and find me dammit!" Karol was going to ask what he meant when a white haired man stuck his head through nothing and shook his head.

"Plot dude. I can't find you yet." Travis used his magic to throw a rock at Cain, the wall break closing before it could hit the Vampire.

"Cheeky bastard!" Karol was star struck. Who the Hell was this guy and who was that!? Well, he wanted to pay his guild, so he had no complaints.

"Come on. Danghrest is about an hour away." Travis nodded, pulling his hood up and began reading his book while following Karol. If he was going to have Cain make this be annoyingly long, he may as well learn some things about where he was and was going to be.

"When I find that Vampire, I'm skinning him alive."

* * *

Cain ripped his head back through, looking to Owain who had worry on his face.

"Is he ok?" Cain nodded.

"He's with this kid who looks slightly important. Heading to some place called Danghrest. Too bad we don't have a magic book with info on everything like teen brood lord." Owain face palmed, sighing loudly as he did.

"Come on. Let's just find out where this Danghrest is and find Travis." Cain then nodded quickly.

"And some hot bitches for him to go ham on." Owain thought about it, placing his hands on his hips.

"That'll be a secondary goal. Ok?" Cain nodded, warping away. Owain just looked around the fields where he was now alone.

"Why does he always do this shit to me?" He then heard a noise behind him and turned, hand on his sword to see knights in blue coming towards him.

"Halt, Brigand!" Owain drew Missiletainn, holding it in his right hand to the side.

"I just arrived here. I have done nothing, so explain yourselves, before I allow my blade of justice to do the talking!" A taller knight with blonde hair spiked to the side walked forward.

"I am commandant Flynn, and your match the description of the man who was aiding a wanted man." Owain did nothing but cock his head in confusion.

"And who is this man?" They all pointed.

"Behind you." Owain turned, seeing Cain with a bagel.

"What the fuck did you do!?" Cain almost dropped the bagel at the sudden outburst.

"I got hungry."

"So you robbed someone!? We just got here!" Flynn cleared his throat.

"That's not the main thing, but it certainly helps. He was stealing socks. Only the left ones." Owain clenched Missiletainn close, spinning and slicing the head of the Vampire off. Everyone was stunned, merely watching as Owain spun the sword, running it along the sheathe before placing it in.

"Give it a second." They watched in horror as the head turned to blood, then ran to the body, reforming into Cain's head and the eyes opening.

"That wasn't very nice." Owain felt his eye twitch as he reached for his sword again.

"Please don't! That sword actually moderately hurts, since it's holy and shit." Owain grabbed the handle.

"Good! Then maybe I can make you stop! Or should I get the pepper spray!? What did Travis tell you in the Author's Note!?" Cain looked down, his hands to his side looking like a small child.

"To be good." Owain cuffed the back of Cain's head, growling.

"And we were here for three seconds and you already did something. And of all the things, socks and a bagel! Come on dude! What would Kita say?" Cain licked his lips, thinking very carefully what his next words would be.

"Are we talking about horny Kita, or normal Kita?" Some of the knights were getting very uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Normal! I'm not here to get you fucked! This is about Travis, dammit! He wrote this things, remember!?" Cain nodded sheepishly.

"Ya... So now what?" Owain sighed, placing his hands in his pockets.

"Return the socks, and pay for the bagel, and that should make everything better, right?" He had mostly directed the end to the commandant, who nodded.

"Yes. Do that and your crimes will be waved." Cain waved his hands, enough socks to fill a swimming pool appeared behind him. He only smiled.

"Really?" Cain shrugged at Owain.

"When you're bored, you're bored." Owain face palmed, letting the knights handle it. He turned to the commandant, giving a respectful bow.

"Sorry about my friend's actions, but he is childish." They looked back to see Cain poking Witcher, the short mage threatening to kill him, while Cain laughed and moved on to Sodia.

"I can tell. Now then, what brings you two out here?" Owain shrugged, letting out a sad sigh.

"We don't really know. We were separated from our friend, but have found out he is near Danghrest and need to get there. Any ideas?" Flynn nodded, pulling out a map.

"You're here, by Zaphias right now. Danghrest is way over here, many days travel away." Owain nodded, looking closer at the map.

"Because why would it be easy?" He directed his attention behind him.

"Cain! Found out where Travis is! Come on!" Cain was currently riding on one of the knight's backs, acting like it was a rodeo. He then back flipped off the knight, and moon walked over.

"Yo! Bomb diggity!" Owain smirked, asking Flynn for a map.

"Here, this is the path I would take, but go wherever you wish." Owain nodded, placing it in his small backpack, grabbing Cain's collar and walking away.

"Thanks for the help! I apologize for my friend slicing a hole in your trousers." Flynn looked, seeing the back part of his pants were gone, leaving heart printed boxers open to the worlds. He remained calm, placing his hands to block the hole casually.

"Sodia, please get me a pair of trousers from the caravan." She nodded, a little upset she didn't get more of a show... not that she had the hots for her commandant! She stopped her thoughts there and went to get the trousers. She would have to thank that one idiot later. Owain then shook, his hand coated in energy that caused them all to panic. Cain was actually being moderately serious too.

"Did you not jack off today? What's up?" Owain kneeled, letting out a breath before looking up at Cain.

"Travis is in danger. Along with everyone at Danghrest." Flynn stepped forward.

"What do you mean?" Owain held up his red coated hand, glaring at it.

"Dark monstrous energy is collecting around him, and heading right for him."

* * *

To say Travis was impressed with Danghrest would be an understatement. He was enjoying it so much, he completely forgot that he was supposed to be looking for Owain and Cain. With the help of Brave Vesperia of course. But things actually seemed to be looking up in this town, something he was not apposed to. Then there was the loud horn.

"Monsters! All able fighters, to the walls! Prepare for battle!" Karol started to drag Travis away from the wall.

"We need to get you to safety!" Travis wanted to fight, but knew Karol wouldn't let him, since he had told the guild leader he was inexperienced with most combat. Then there were some new voices. They turned to see a man with long black hair and similarly colored clothing approach. Travis recognized him from the tome as Yuri, the main character. Beside him was a women with blue hair... and very little left to the imagination from her clothing articles.

"Karol, we need to get to the wall. They need us out there." Karol nodded, turning to Travis and pointing at a building near the back of Danghrest.

"Get to that building, and wait for us to come back." With that they left, and Travis had to little people appear on his shoulders. Smart Travis, and Stupid Travis.

"We need to get to the shelter!"

"Fuck that! We should fight!" Travis merely watched the two fight, before realizing one of them was supposed to be Owain, and the other one Cain. So he eventually settled for flicking both off him, despite their cussing and yelling, and made his way to the wall.

"What's the worst that could be out there?" He reached the top, pulling up his hood and wondering if he had enough time to eat his foot or not.

"That... is a shit ton of monsters."

* * *

Owain punched Cain... hard. Enough to send him flying through three trees.

"We found a way to warm him, and lead him to safety, and you told him to go fight! And now he's fighting!" Cain stood, licking his chin, before nodding.

"Well, duh. Why not? There's hundreds of those guys."

"And damned near a two hundred thousand monsters!" Cain lifted a hand and started to speak, before stopping and choosing his next words carefully.

"That kid needs Jesus." Owain then gripped the handle of Missiletainn, glaring at Cain.

"No. You need Jesus. And you need him now! Radiant Dawn!"

* * *

Travis prepared his tome, probably getting weird looks since the people near him had back away. He only had one shot at what he wanted to do, and if he messed it up, he could end up blowing up the walls. He didn't want to take that chance, so he didn't. He pulled a Cain. He jumped off the wall, right down in front. Everyone on the wall was panicking, especially Karol when he saw him. Travis saw the monsters were approaching quickly, but he had a minute or two. He swiped his hands over the pages, blue energy forming around him.

 **From Shadows**

He let the book float in front of him, holding his hands to the side and feeling pressure building. The water around the city started to glow brightly. He brought his hands close together and water formed around him in a variety of weapons. He smirked, his eyes turning blue.

"Let's dance, bitches." He pulled his right hand back, throwing it forward, watching as the weapons of water flew forward and started to cut through them quickly. He slammed his hands down, water raising from the river and washing away a large chunk of the monsters. He spun, the water dancing around him, before he pointed forward, a tidal wave coming from behind him and rushing forward. It hit the monsters, but didn't stop them, and the big ones getting close. He clenched his hands, gritting his teeth.

"New plan." He crossed his arms, throwing them up and creating a water shield in front of him, stopping the monsters from approaching anymore. He drew his sword, letting in float above the book. He snapped, the blade getting absorbed in water before reappearing and now in the form of a trident. He grabbed it, then dropped the shield. As they started to rush again, Travis jumped up, spinning and swinging the trident.

A water wave flew forward, slicing into the monsters. They just kept coming, and Travis was starting to regret his decision. He let the trident float up, water collecting around it and making it grow bigger and brighter. The monsters were right about to hit him, when he jumped up, grabbing the trident and spinning with it, before stabbing it down into the ground, making a tornado of water shoot forward. It had bought him a few seconds.

They got close again, but he smirked.

"Let's see if this works, Cain." He held his hands to his side, turning himself into water, before water floated above the ground and seemed to block out the sun. The Travis reformed in the middle of them, his trident and tome in his hands. The water started to fall, almost like it was heavily raining. A monster swung at him, Travis stabbing it with the trident. A monster swung at his exposed back, but the falling water turned into a shield, blocking the strike and then forming a water bubble around its head, then crushed it.

Travis started to spin his trident above his head, water spinning around him in a flurry, picking up some of the smaller monsters. The larger ones had to brace, getting pelted by water, as the trident spun faster and faster. Then Travis held his hands forward, his hands and legs becoming water, while the blue his eyes became turned an even fiercer color. He reached up, grabbing the trident and then slamming the bottom of it into the ground, a gigantic tornado of water exploding around him, picking up all the monsters and throwing them into the air, or ripping them apart in the torrent of water.

He stabbed into the walls of the tornado with his trident, then pulled up, the tornado exploding, sending the monsters everywhere, some even landing inside of Danghrest, dead. Everyone turned to the paladin as he stumbled on his feet, his eyes grey again. His trident was a sword again and his tome was just floating near him. He looked to the people on the wall, giving a thumbs up before falling down.

* * *

Owain was not too happy to say the least. Him and Cain were now traveling with the knights, to go all the way to Danghrest, and find Travis. It wouldn't have been so bad, had it not been that Cain was being Cain, and the knights were useless in just a out anything. He kept feeling the darkness growing around them, and he didn't know what to do about it. He tried to tell Flynn, but the knight only told him they would deal with it when it happened. Which only made Owain even more peeved. Cain was not helping, asking every thirty seconds if they had made it or not.

"Are we there yet?"

"Cain, if you ask that once more, I will slice your dick off, and feed it to a monster." Cain looked at him blankly then cocked his head. Pun intended.

"Won't it just grow back?" Owain reached for his sword.

"Want to test that theory?" Cain clamped his hands over his crotch, shaking his head.

"Nein Fuhrer!" Owain just looked to him in a confused manner.

"You're not German. You hate Nazis too." Cain then nodded, warping on top of Witcher, telling the short person to go faster. Then Owain stopped, holding his hand up. Everyone stopped, looking to him as his arm was coated in blood red energy, swirling violently around him. He smirked, lowering his head.

 **Id (Hope)**

He swiped his hand, a monster that had jumped at him from the trees being sliced in half. The pieces landed next to him, dissolving into rose petals. Owain held his right hand by his face, Cain cheering from Witcher's head.

"He's in the Scion stance! Shit's about to get real! Oh ya!" Owain waited, his left hand on his sheath, right below his sword handle, mostly there for stability. Several monsters jumped at him, all wolf like in appearance. Owain had moved his right hand to his sword, and sliced once before anyone knew any different, then sheathed it. The monsters seemed frozen in air, until Owain clicked his sword all the way back into his sheathe, then watched with a smirk as they blew away in an explosion of rose petals.

He sliced again, the entire row of trees and bushes in front of him turning to nothing, as he walked into the new clearing, taking a more relaxed stance. His hands were crosses over his chest, as he waited. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be a statue. Then six large monsters that looked like giant scorpions walked into the clearing, hissing at the Scion. Owain did not move. One launched its stinger at him from behind, his eyes opening and then he moved to the side, arms still crossed.

He looked at the scorpion, blank expression on his face. In what looked like a flash of lightening, he has sliced into the scorpion, the beast getting cut right down the middle and dispersing like the others. He faced the other five, keeping his sword out and raised.

"Behold, the Scion of Legends! Prepare yourself, Demons! For today, you know true fear!" Cain knew what was happening. Owain was going into kick ass mode. Two of the scorpions charged him, only to have their attacks stopped by his blade, stunning them. Then Owain took a step back, being covered in a blue aura, before slamming the hilt of his sword into the ground.

"Sacred Stones!" The ground around him and under the scorpions exploded with red and blue rocks, knocking the scorpions into the air. Owain sheathed his sword, the red energy returning to his arm. His sword and sheathe were glowing a vibrant red, and everyone felt the power coming from it. Once more his eyes were closed, as he focused. Right before they hit the ground, his eyes opened, a dark red.

"Lethal Strike!" He swung his sword, the entire world around them turning red and black, as the monsters slowly turned to rose petals in this world, then floated away on the wind. The last three growled at Owain, all rushing together. He had not moved from his slash, his sword still out. When they got close all he did was jump back, slashing the air and sheathe his blade. Multiple slashes appeared on them, causing the to become crippled and slow. Owain the drew his sword, throwing it into the air, and catching it backwards.

"Prepare yourself, for my new technique!" He ran towards them all, when he started to split into two Owains, one on the right, and one on the left. He then reformed into one, energy around him as he slashed the middle one, appearing on the other side of it. The middle one sparked with red electricity, before exploding. The other two turned, clumsily walking towards him, his back to them as he stood still. They prepared their stingers, but before they struck him they fell apart and turned to Rose petals.

They tried the same with their claws, only to have those fall to petals when they got close. They merely hissed at him, the Scion turning slightly. He raised his left hand, the red energy forming on it.

"Be cast into nothingness." He swiped it slowly, and the scorpions hit the ground and exploded into more petals. Owain spun his sword quickly, slowing down and then placing it near the sheathe, but not in it. He then ran the blade along the sheathe, before placing it in slowly, a soft click coming out when he had sheathed it completely. He turned to them, holding up his right hand and nodding.

"We are safe from the demons. For now." Cain ran forward, throwing his hands up.

"Dude, holy fuck that was fucking dope as fucking shit! Holy fucking shit dick!" Owain threw his hands in the air.

"I fucking know! I've been fucking working on that shit for like two fucking years! I finally successfully did the Petal Stance, and did the Petal Slash and everything! I feel fucking awesome! Awesome as shit dude!" They started to freak out and nerd out, both being loud an obnoxious while everyone else watched with gaping mouths. Sodia was the first to speak.

"Holy shit, that was almost as sexy as Flynn." Flynn turned to her suddenly.

"What?" She turned away.

"Nothing!"

* * *

Travis opened his eyes, hating life since he felt like he had been hit by a train, truck, and Cain all at once. He looked around at where he was, seeing it was just some simple room. He started to get off the bed, when he felt very light headed and sick.

"Nope!" He flopped back on the bed, looking around for a few seconds before trying his luck again. He found he was able to stand with the help of something like a wall or bed. He saw the door, moving towards his target. He was about to get to it when it burst open, and he was sent flying back onto the bed. He looked around dazed. He looked at the door, seeing several shapes at it.

"Um... Hi!" They walked in, and he saw Karol, Yuri, the hot scantily clad woman, and a girl who was wearing red with mismatched socks. She had goggles on her red hair and just glared at him darkly.

"Is this the idiot who somehow used Blastia?" Travis shook his head.

"I don't use Blastia." They all exchanged glances, before the goggles girl gripped his collar, picking him up, despite everyone telling her to be nice.

"Listen here you little bastard, I'm not in the mood since my Blastia is gone. So, you can tell me how you used Blastia, or I can break you with my bare hands!"

"Rita, be nice."

"Shut it Judith!" She turned back to Travis, the Paladin waving his hands sporadically. I didn't do it! I swear! I just use magic!" Rita pulled back her fist.

"I swear! Read the tome! Read it! Read it! Only those connected to the magical realm of Dusk can read it!" Rita threw him on the bed, going to the corner and grabbing Travis' tome. She opened it, glaring darkly at it.

"This is gibberish!" She threw it at Travis, who shook his head.

"I can read it. I promise. It's a channel for magic. Watch." He waved his right hand and holding the book in his left. Water started to wave in between his fingers, spreading out throughout the room, impressing even Travis.

"I'm still learning, but I have found out something new. Each element allows me to use a different weapon, it seems. I had my sword turn into a Trident, which is pretty damn cool to me. I felt like Aqua Man kicking ass! I need a shark!" Then he stopped as Rita glared at him again.

"So you don't use Blastia?" He shook his head. Then he opened the book, chanting something and the book flipping its pages.

"Says here, Blastia is your power source, eh? Could be used for weapons, or powering things. That's kinda cool. It looks like a rock." Rita looked at the page, growling in frustration.

"This is garbage! You can't even read it!" Travis took the book, stroking it calmly.

"She didn't mean that Tomey." Everyone just stared at him in confusion, where he only shrugged.

"Don't ask. I blame Cain." He then tried to stand, feeling himself almost falling apart. He started to twitch, pain racking his whole body.

"Oh man. Shouldn't have had that bagel." Everyone watched as his eyes switched colors from silver to white, black, red, blue, green, yellow, and every color they could think, before settling back on silver grey. He shook his head, looking around.

"Is there something in my teeth?" Karol was freaked out, but decided to answer.

"More like your eyes." Travis looked for a mirror, looking at it and seeing his silver eyes.

"I knew about the silver color. Cain messed with my tome." Judith shook her head.

"No. Your eyes were changing colors quickly. Like when you fought the monsters, they turned blue. Like a ferocious river." Travis looked back at the mirror, making water in his hands and seeing the very inner of his Iris turned blue.

"I'll be damned. My magic is more tied to me than I thought. This changes some things." He turned to them, throwing his hands in the air, walking forward, suddenly fine.

"I need to find Cain! Owain will just follow him to keep him in line. Where's my goddamn coat!?" He walked around, seeing Judith holding it. He took it, placing it on and grabbing his sword that was in the corner.

"Alright! Now then, where is the exit!?" He was pointed to a door at the end of the hall. He sprinted to it, kicking it open.

"Cain! Where are you!?" Everyone outside looked at him funny, but he didn't care. He sprinted towards the exit of the city, when he was stopped by a large dragon. He saw the others coming after him.

"We're supposed to help you find him, remember?" Travis nodded to Karol, pointing at him.

"Right! My bad. Wait, you are all in the same Guild?" Rita shook her head.

"I just want to test your little magic book thing. And if you're leaving, I have to follow you. Besides, gives me something to do." Travis gave a thumbs up, turning and pointing out into the wilderness.

"We march! Onwards!" He started to walk when he was stopped by a force grabbing his collar. His feet left the ground, and he fell flat on his back. When he looked up he only had one thing to say.

"That is a very scantily clad lady all right." Judith smiled from above.

"Like what you see?" Travis thought about it, then decided to ask a question.

"Which one will not get me killed?" Judith picked him up, brushing him off, before punching him.

"Neither one." Travis rubbed his chin, looking back.

"To be fair, you did knock me over, and not do anything while I was down there." Judith just gave a sinister smile.

"And you made no effort to look away."

"Touché." Travis then looked up, and started to laugh it.

"Dammit, Cain! This is moderately fun after all!" Then Cain came through a portal.

"I fucking told you!"

"Cain! No wall breaking during the story! Wait till the Author's Note!" Cain looked around, shrugging, before seeing Judith.

"Are you not human?" She nodded.

"You're definitely hot. Do you ride a dragon of sorts?" She nodded again. He turned to Travis, the mage just shaking his head, while Cain nodded.

"Don't you say it, Cain."

"Fuck that bitch! Have her ride your magical dragon! Do it!" Then the portal closed, and Travis was standing there, not willing to turn around and look at them.

"What did he just say?" Everyone looked to Karol, glad he sorta foxed the situation.

"Nothing young Karol." Judith grinned at Travis, looking him up and down.

"Didn't seem like nothing to me. Seems he has something he wants you to do." Travis nodded.

"His idea for the trip we're on was to get me laid, while I just want to do magic." Judith looked at him, completely unreadable.

"Would you be apposed to having your dragon ridden?" Travis clamped his mouth shut.

"You scare me, so I will plead the 5th." Judith nodded, a savage glint in her eyes.

"Good idea." She walked past him, a very entrancing strut to her walk. Travis looked back to the others and frowned.

"I can't walk behind that. I don't trust my teenage hormones to stay in line. That's Eye Candy to unhealthy proportions, and not something I would like to do. We've pissed off Fate once, and I'd rather not do it again." Judith turned to him, chuckling.

"Guess that tells me where you stand on Dragon riding." Travis turned around, glaring at her. She was leaning over, giving a nice extra view of... Everything.

"That's cheating." She winked at him, turning and strutting away again.

"All's fair in love and war." Travis stared at her for a few seconds, then took out his book and summoned a pen. He started to write, when he was interrupted by Karol.

"What are you writing?"

"My will for when I see something I shouldn't have and Judith kills me. Or Rita when she gets easily offended."

"Hey!"

"See?"

"I'm going to kick the crap out of you!"

"Wait! I haven't finished writing yet!"

 **Cain: Dude! That Judith chick is grade-A material!**

 **Travis: Gee, ya think?**

 **Owain: I haven't seen her, but I will never abandon Severa! For she is the sheathe to my sword!**

 **Travis: ...**

 **Cain: ...**

 **Owain: ... That came out wrong. Dammit!**

 **Travis: So they don't use dragons.**

 **Cain: They like it sharp and fast.**

 **Travis: And apparently Owain is very good at pulling out.**

 **Owain: I'm going to commit Bushido now.**

 **Travis: Severa would kill you... Again.**

 **Cain: Yes, Mighty Sword, if you do this, you may never have your sheathe back again.**

 **Owain: Can we move on now?**

 **Travis: Sure. But this isn't over.**

 **Cain: Back to other matters. Travis! You have a mission!**

 **Travis: Oh Christ, this can only go bad.**

 **Cain: Get in Judith's skirt! Or her everything. Not that there isn't anything wrong with her everything. I mean, damn! There is next to nothing that could compare to that!**

 **Travis: I'm going to go drink bleach now. You're lucky she doesn't hear you, or she'd kick the ever living, Vampiric ship out of you.**

 **Cain: Kinky.**

 **Judith: You may not think so when I'm done with you.**

 **Owain/Travis/Cain: ...**

 **Cain: How did she get here?**

 **Owain: I'm more concerned with the fact that her skin is perfect and she had no sense of modesty.**

 **Travis: To be fair, if I wasn't nerdy looking and similar to Channing Tatum, I'd probably walk around without a shirt too.**

 **Cain: Welp... I've got the weirdest boner right now.**

 **Owain: Again?**

 **Cain: Ya. I need to pay a visit to Kita.**

 **Judith: Have fun.**

 **Owain: *Shudders* Gods that sounded more sensual than it should have. I'm going to go pay Severa a surprise visit.**

 **Travis: Wait you assholes! Don't leave me here with- *Cain and Owain leave* -her...**

 **Judith: *Smiles***

 **Travis: Sooooo... What now?**


End file.
